That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize