When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
