whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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