I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
