ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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