shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
