I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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