i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Vodka?
Forever.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
