How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
