i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
