Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
