You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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