I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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