i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
