I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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