Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I looked at my own cervix.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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