haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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