There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
