I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
