Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
