Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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