so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
