Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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