I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
