Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just want nice things and good sex
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
