One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
