youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
