Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
