he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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