Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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