We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
