So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
