I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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