Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
