loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
