so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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