If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
