I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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