I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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