Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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