There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize