I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
