I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
