My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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