I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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