Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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