you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
