But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
