Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
