I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Bring me that man meat
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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