we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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