my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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