i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
