I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
