I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
