9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
