Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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