Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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