ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I look better un-naked...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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