He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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