if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
