They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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