Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
