You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize