I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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