I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
