Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
