In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think i got beer on your cat.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
