i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
