i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
